


Hold Me Close (And Never Let Go)

by ronoman



Category: Captain America (Movies), Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Stephen Strange, Civil War Team Iron Man, Despressed Tony Stark, Fluff, Hurt Tony Stark, IronStrange, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Loki is a Good Bro, M/M, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not A Fix-It, Not Avengers Infinity War Compliant, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Stephen Strange/Tony Stark, Strangers to Lovers, Team Cap bashing, Tony Stark Has Depression, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Has Nightmares, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-05-13 02:02:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14739968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronoman/pseuds/ronoman
Summary: Siberia was cold and scarring and now Tony’s alone. Alone in a big and empty compound because everyone left. Well, Pepper, Rhodey and Vision had work but so what, he can be dramatic if he wants. He’s sad, alone, scared and depressed and they’re not here right now so he can mope.Well, he was moping until FRIDAY told him about the bunch of people outside of his compound. Goddamnit Pepper.AKA: A story on how you can be extremely damaged and broken, but that doesn't mean you can't be fixed.





	1. Cold

**Author's Note:**

> oki hi im here to pretend iw didnt happen. its been haunting me since i saw it in april. anyway enjoy and shit, hope you like it :)
> 
>  
> 
> also check out my tumblr 'ronomanm' for updates and stuff

It was cold. So, so cold.

It wasn't a nice cold. It wasn't the type of cold that made you feel calm and collected on a too-hot summers day. It wasn't the cold that made your hot body feel oh so much better when the breeze rolled over your body.

It was the type of cold that burned you, burned your skin and your throat and your nose. It was the type of cold that turned your skin different shades of blues and purples. It was the type of cold that you could barely move in. It was the type of cold that made it hard to think, breathe and blink. It was the type of cold that killed.

And Tony was stuck in a metal suit, dying, in that type of cold.

His lungs were pushing for air against the crushed suit, trying to get anything. His breath curled upwards in the cold, sometimes rapidly and other times, he wouldn't breathe for a whole minute because he just couldn't. Even the smallest amount of oxygen would just help.

He was gasping and sometimes tears would track down his bright, cold dusted cheeks just to freeze a minute later. His blotchy red cheeks stood out against his pale face.

The air of the bunker was making his nose bleed. Or at least thats what Tony assumed. The blood froze too, making his nose bleed more.

He couldn't feel his hands or feet or cheeks or nose and there was froze clumps of tears frozen into his eyelashes. He cried out.

He had tried to get in contact with FRIDAY, but the suit was down for the count and he could and it wasn't like he was in any condition to fix even the simplest of things, never mind his suit or AI. Now the suit is his coffin.  _Again._

How ironic was it, the 'not a team player' was more of a team player than the _so called_ patriotic 'Captain', who was supposed to be _the_ team player, who had left one of his 'teammates' out in the cold to die alone.

He gave a breathy, bitter laugh, that turning into a loud cough which sent tremors through his broken, frozen body. Everybody eventually left him. It was only a matter of time before they all saw how truly worthless he was. How unneeded and unloved he was. How undeserving he was.

A man with everything and nothing.

He coughed and wheezed into the air, blood splattering onto the suit from his mouth. Of course. Internal bleeding. At least it'll all be over soon.

Soon, soon, soon.

He can see Jarvis, and Aunt Peggy, and his beautiful mother, Maria and Yinsen again. Well, probably not. He's definitely going to Hell.

Tony started to gag and rolled his head to the side, throwing up bile and blood. Lovely.

He tried to wiggle his fingers and toes. He wasn't sure if they moved or not, it's not like he could see the extremities.

God, what had happened to him? Why had it come to this?

_It had come to this when you decided that you were going to be a 'hero'. If anything, you made everything worse._

He gasped again, his lungs spazzemed, he couldn't breathe properly anymore.

"Tony!"

Oh. He was hallucinating now. Great. At least it was Pepper. He'd be perfectly content if she was the last thing he saw when he died. She was his best friend. And so was Rhodey. Oh god, he wasn't able to help Rhodey. Now he was paying for it.

"Tony! Oh my god...Tony..." He smiled at the fuzzy Pepper. She was still the same old Pepper, even when she wasn't really there.

"I need help! I think he's dying!"

"S'okay..."

Everything went black with a scream.

\----

"Vision, Boss is in trouble. You must get to him immediately with help." FRIDAY rushed. Vision's head turned up to one of the many cameras. He stood up quickly.

"What has happened?"

"I have lost communications with Boss and the suits reactor has been smashed so the suit is down. I believe that Boss is dying. I must stress to you how fast you have to get there. Here is his coordinates." FRIDAY sounded very worried. The coordinates flashed infront of him. Vision started to fret around.

"Call Ms Potts and explain what has happened. Tell her to get Doctor Helen Cho and several other doctors, some of the best of course. on a helicopter and to the coordinates as fast as she can and that I will meet her there."

"Yes, sir."

\----

Pepper was out of her mind with worry. Tony looked dead.

The doctors had surrounded him and had extracted the armor and had wrapped a foil blanket around him, currently putting him on a stretcher. Doctor Cho was currently barking commands at people who were back at the compound, telling them to get the Cradle prepared.

Vision put his hand on her shoulder.

"I...I don't understand what happened, Vision. Why did Captain Rogers do this?" Pepper covered her face with her hands. Her voice shook with anger and sadness.

"I cannot say why, but maybe when Doctor Stark wakes, he can explain." Vision sounded...hopeful and sad.

"Maybe..." Pepper sighed.

"Come, Ms Potts, the helicopter is leaving soon."

Pepper sent once last glance to the blood and sick that pooled on the bunkers floor and then walked away quickly.


	2. Hospital

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oki hi im here to pretend iw didnt happen. its been haunting me since i saw it in april. anyway enjoy and shit, hope you like it :)
> 
>  
> 
> also check out my tumblr 'ronomanm' for updates and stuff

As soon as Tony was brought into the helicopter, machines were hooked up to him and a breathing tube was inserted down his throat. 

Doctors were quickly removing Tony's underarmor to see the extent of the damage done to his body. They could only tell so little from the outside and from what Pepper could tell, it was bad. All of the rushing around was making her more stressed. Vision hovered over her, one of his hands squeezing her shoulder gently. She gave him a small smile of gratitude. 

The journey back to America dragged on and on but eventually, the helicopter arrived at the hospital where Helen Cho had her Cradle at for the moment, and before Pepper could ask anything, the doctors rushed Tony off to have emergency surgery. 

It felt like time was going so quickly and yet so slowly at the same time. It was driving her and Vision crazy. Then Happy and Natasha arrived, Rhodey appearing out of an elevator and everything got a hell of a lot crazier. 

\---- 

Five hours later had Natasha tapping her foot impatiently, sitting on the uncomfortable hospital chairs, Vision fluttering nervously, Happy pacing the waiting room and Rhodey comforting a freaking out Pepper, when finally, a doctor came out to see them. 

They all rushed over to the doctor, eyes widened with hope and worry, asking frantically if Tony was okay, if he was going to make it, if he was even alive. 

"Yes, he is...stable for the moment. He is inside the Cradle right now and will be getting moved to the ICU in a few hours, where he'll be allowed one guest at a time." The doctor awkwardly shuffled, fliddling with his glasses.

"What's the damage?" Natasha stared him in the eyes, her eyes sharp and deadly. The doctor- Doctor Alfon, cleared his throat.

"He has four broken ribs, one of which punctured his left lung, as well as a large cut across his chest from the metal of the suit caving into his chest and due to the force of the hits, we've had to replace several parts of his sternum with metal plates. He also has a severe concussion, slight burns around his chest and hands and cuts on his face, neck and chest." Everybody winced. "We are very lucky to have been able to stable him, especially with all the fluid we had to drain from his lungs. But we aren't in the clear just yet, he always might not make it." They all nodded, wincing and Dr. Alfon left quickly.

"How the hell could Rogers do this? What the hell happened in Siberia?" Rhodey spat, obviously torn up about what had happened. Natasha stayed quiet, a blank look crossing her face.

They all sighed and went back to what they were doing before.

"I hate this. This is so stupid. All Tony wanted to do was something good and now he almost died because of it. Again." Pepper ran a hand through her toussled hair, frustrated.

"It's like he can't seem to catch a break. God." Rhodey scoffed, everybody went silent after that. 

\----

Another two hours passed before he got moved into the ICU, Happy and Pepper were both now passed out in the uncomfortable chairs, Natasha taking up the pacing, Vision was awkwardly sitting in a chair and Rhodey was tapping his fingers impatiently. It was another hour before he could have a visitor, everybody let Pepper go first. 

Pepper creaked the door open slowly, her small frame slipping into the room silently. Her hand snapped up to her mouth as she looked at Tony, a large breathing tube came out of his mouth, wires poking out from and attached to his skin. His skin was sickly pale but his face was relaxed in a way she hadn't ever seen it before, even in his sleep. 

He looked so small. 

Pepper sniffed, choking on a small sob as she grabbed his chilled hand, kissing his knuckles gently.

"You're an asshole, you know." Her other hand played with the longer hair at the top of his neck, lightly scratching at the skin. "You just...go and disappear and not talk to me for a week and then Vision calls me to say that there's something wrong and we need to go to Siberia, of all places," She paused, sighing. "You better not die on me. Not now, not after all we've been through. You're one of my closest friends, Tony. I love you, never doubt that." 

Pepper released his hand, kissed his forehead and left, closing the door to nake sure it didn't slam.

\----

Rhodey went next.

He wheeled his chair up to Tony's bed, cursing at his state, his best friend in the most vulnerable state he'd ever seen him in. Except for maybe when he found him in Afghanistan, but he was at least awake and not hooked up to what seemed like hundreds of machines.

"I know you still blame yourself for what happened at the airport. You really shouldn't but I know me saying that it's not your fault won't do anything." He breathed shakily, "So don't beat yourself up too much, Tones. I don't want you to." 

The room fell silent after Rhodey stopped talking, he just stared at Tony and checked up on the machines every now and again. And then quietly and slowly, he pushed himself out of the room, sending one last sad smile at him.

\----

Natasha and Happy insisted that Vision went next, seeing as Tony and him were decently close.

Vision slipped into the room through the walls, his hands fretted about as he fluttered by Tony's bed, his hand pressed hesitantly to his cheek. He sighed, feeling something bitter welled in his chest and dropped, settling in his stomach.

"I thought that giving you space, allowing you to go after the Captain was a good idea, that it would let things simmer out. I know realise that I was wrong to hope that, but I do not harbour any remorse for them leaving, it was their choice and it has shown where their loyalties lie." 

He skimmed his thumb over the harsh black bruise that had faded in around his eye.

"I will not hesitate to avenge you if you fade. You never deserved this." With that, he left the room.

\----

When Happy went to visit Tony, he didn't say anything. He just sat next to the bed, watching Tony's favourite show on mute.

When he had to leave, he squeezed Tony's arm and made sure the nurse that checked on him every ten minutes kept the show on. She thankfully nodded, giving him a smile. He nodded back to her and walked out of the room.

Natasha shook her head as he entered the waiting room and he shrugged, the side of his mouth twitching downwards.

Pepper, Natasha, Happy and Vision left the hospital and slept at the near by hotel, Rhodey wheeling back to his room a few floors up, all of them hoping that he'll wake up soon.

\----

Beep...beep...beep...

He tried to grumble, but he ended up coughing and choking instead, his breath hitching as soon as he stopped.

His eyes were crusted with sleep but he forced them to open, hissing as the dulling sunlight assulted his eyes, pulling forth a headache.

He was...in a hospital. Great. Fan-fucking-tastic. Why the hell was he in the hospi- oh. Yeah. That's why.

He sighed and reached over, well tried to, his body was heavy with lethargy and he ended up just slipping back down, accidentally hitting his chest with his hand and he swore colourfully.

A nurse opened the door, talking to someome behind her. When she turned around, her mouth fell open. He waved at her awkwardly.

"Hi..." His voice was raw and croaky.

The nurse rushed over and started doing tests on him, taking his blood, checking for a concussion, his vision and his hearing.

"How long've I been out?" He was now sipping on a cup of water, it soothing his throat.

"Six weeks. We weren't sure if you were going to wake up and if you did, what sort of state you would be in so we will have to keep you here for at least another week to make sure everything is okay."

He nodded, eyes wide in shock.

"Your friends have been quite worried. They just recently left, so you managed to somehow miss them, but they'll be back tomorrow." He frowned. Of course he woke up when he wasn't able to see his friends. It was just his luck.

A man in a white coat entered the roomamd shut the door.

"So doc, whats up with me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo another chapter 
> 
> hope you enjoy :)


	3. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oki hi im here to pretend iw didnt happen. its been haunting me since i saw it in april. anyway enjoy and shit, hope you like it :)
> 
>  
> 
> also check out my tumblr 'ronomanm' for updates and stuff

Tony's mouth pulled down into a frown as he listened to the Doctor ramble on about everything that was physically wrong with his body. Helen was there letting him know what the cradle had been able to do for him as well. 

His body had done well repairing itself while he was in his coma, but his sternum was still cause for concern. It was too damaged and weak as of right now and the cartilage wasn’t healing well either. He would basically need a whole new sternum. Ideas started rolling around in his head, who knows, maybe he could make one for himself. He is Tony Stark after all.

Tony was nodding numbly along while the Doctor continued rambling on about his options for future care, but tuned out of the conversation and wasn’t really processing the words being spoken at him anymore. He gave a well placed hummed of acknowledgment here and there when he felt it was appropriate. 

When the Doctors finished their report they asked him if he had any questions for them which he shook his head no to, which cause a jolt of pain, and he winced he rubbed his neck frowning further. Helen turned to the nurse that was in the room, and let her know that Tony was due for pain medicine, she then gave Tony a small sad smile and left the room. The nurse gave Tony a shot of morphine in his IV, which caused a warm feeling to spread through his aching body, and then the nurse left the room as well, leaving Tony alone in his thoughts. The man in question sank as far as he could into the bed wishing the physical and emotional pain away and wanting to just disappear. He stared lifelessly at the ceiling, he clicked his tongue a few times, which seemed to cause a kind of echo in the room full of medical equipment and supplies. 

He needed to do something, anything, but he couldn't, and his eyes were transfixed on that one spot on the ceiling. To many emotion and feels needed to be processed, but before he could truly think too much more the morphine kicked in. His limbs grew heavier than they already were, and his eyelids slowly drooped closed, before he realised it he was asleep.

\----

Pain, cold, darkness. It all enclosed in on Tony too fast, and suddenly his chest was heavy and it hurt, a lot. Too much, everything was too much. His eyes flew open and he searched wildly around not truly seeing anything but at the same time seeing everything, all of his fears, and insecurities were there. His chest heaving painfully, and his breathing increased tenfold.

He didn’t really register the loud beeping that was resounding in the room. But he quickly registered the hand that appeared on his shoulder. He flinched away from the touch violently. Pain exploded in his entire body as he tried to scramble away, he got as far as the opposite side of the bed, which really wasn’t that far, right against the safety rails. His thoughts were on the cycle of run, escape, get away as fast as you can, and don't look back.

His eyes slammed shut. Rationally he knew what was happening he has had so many nightmares followed by panic attacks for several years by now. But none of this was rational. Nothing was ok. 

The next few things he registered was that his right hand became curled up in warmth fingers weaving through his own, next a mask that was pushing oxygen was placed over his nose and mouth, then his head was being lifted up as the band that would secure the mask was placed around his head. The oxygen seemed to have helped a lot as the beeping had slowed but his breathing was still ragged and pained. He next felt someone hand comb through his hair pulling the strands that had stuck to his forehead away, the calming feeling of the hand through his hair started to ground him. It was then he felt one more set of hands that was pressed lightly against his legs by his ankles at the foot of the bed. Not holding him down but a comforting embrace of ‘I got you’ was what he was able to get from the touching he was experiencing.

"Deep breaths, Tony. C'mon. In and out. That's it, you can do it." Tony was finally starting to register the words that were being spoken at him. He blearily blinked his wet eyes and squinted as they readjusted to the light of the room. 

"Rhodey?" His voice cracked with emotions and was muffled but the mask residing on his face. He tried to swallow and winced at the dryness of his throat. The oxygen mask was lifted, a straw was placed against his chapped lips, he sipped gently and received cold water. The cold relieved his dry throat but he shivered slightly remembering why he had a panic attack moments earlier. The encroaching cold haunted him. The straw was pulled away and the mask returned.

"Yeah, it's me. Pepper and Happy are here,” Rhodey voice croaked squeezing Tony’s hand he held “and Natasha is here too." 

Tony glanced around the room as Rhodey spoke. Pepper was basically petting him, while Happy still hand his hands on Tony’s legs, and then his eyes landed on Natasha. Who was standing closer to the door of the room as if preparing to escape. He gently rested his left hand against his broken and sore chest that was still throbbing painfully.

Rhodey smiled at him, relief, love, concern and a few other emotions were detectable in the man's features.

"I'm so happy you're awake, man. You scared the ever living crap out of me. We've all been worried sick." Rhodey confessed, emotions getting the best of him as his voice cracked. He squeezed Tony’s hand.

"'M sorry." Tony mumbled looking up at the ceiling as his chest swelled in guilt and tears spiked in his eyes.

“No Tony please don’t apologize.” Pepper begged the injured man as she continued to calmly comb through his hair.  
“This isn’t your fault.” she whispered 

Mumbles through the room confirmed her word were met with agreeance. Pepper, Rhodey and Happy were all smiling at their long time friend the relief that he was alive and awake was evident on their faces. Natasha though. Her face was...odd. It wasn't blank, or even cold and uncaring, but it was still unreadable. Her being here confused the injured man but he didn’t really want to try process it at the moment anyway so he ignored the slight feeling of betrayal and focused on his friends 

Tony wriggled around a bit in attempt to get comfortable, Rhodey and Pepper noticed immediately and helped him readjust in the bed and raise the head of the bed up, along with fluffing the pillows under him. He smiled a thanks at them and rubbed his left hand against his eyes and face, swiping away the pooled tears while he was at it. He cleared his throat to the best of his ability and tried to break the awkward silence that had formed in the room.

"So...how is everything?" Tony inquired voice still muffled but the mask. There was a long pause as they thought.

"Good, it's all good. Better now that you're awake, boss. The public has been wondering what's been happening with the Avengers Civil War, as they are now dubbing it. And where everyone has disappeared to. They also don't even know you're in hospital. Pepper felt it was safer for you in the long run especially when we don’t even know what really happened." Tony nodded gently at Happy’s report. His throat closing slightly realizing that people would have questions about what her was so injured. 

"That's good. Glad you kept the public away, I’m not ready for a public statement yet. And we don't need any riots or anyone out for blood." Tony trailed off and the room lapsed back into a slightly less awkward silence. Tony's left hand had gone back to gently resting against his aching chest.

It was then that a nurse entered the room asking how he was doing and what his pain level was at. She proceeded to give him a low dosage of pain medication to keep him awake for awhile at least and switched his oxygen mask out for a nasal cannula. Tony tried to fight about not needing a constant flow of oxygen but his argument died in his throat at the look Pepper was giving him and the nurse explained how with the damage to his lungs it would be better to have the oxygen on for a while.

The day ticked on from there and minutes turned into hours. Nurses came in and out if the room at a constant flow, he swore it was more than just the shift change though obviously some of them were there to meet the billionaire under the guise of work, checking his vitals, more times than he thought necessary, giving medications and bringing him small meals, that Pepper ended up forcing down his throat. 

The sky was soon turning dark and visiting hours were ending. Panic of being left alone started to encroach but he pushed it down.

Rhodey gave him a hug and squeezed him gently.

“I can stay the night if you need me here,” Rhodey offered gently. Tony declined stating how he would be fine. 

Pepper gave him a kiss on the cheek and handed him his phone and Starkpad with instructions not to spend too much time awake and on the devices.

“You’re the best Pepper.” He gave her a wide grin in appreciation and her eyes misted a bit. 

“I’m so happy that you’re okay.” she whispered.

“Me too Pep, are we okay though?” Tony inquired quietly it was something he had been wondering and worrying about since they had been on a break when everything had gone down.

“Of course Tony. You’re my best friend and business partner there’s nothing to worry about. I’m here and I won’t leave you.” Pepper spoke gently and caressed Tony’s face. He leaned into her touch. He should have known she would see right through him and what he was really questioning her on. Pepper gave him a watery smile and one more kiss on the cheek before leaving.

Happy simply gave his shoulder a light squeeze and a quiet “Goodnight Boss”. 

Natasha stood at the end of his bed, though. Unmoving.

"Yes, Natashalie?" He pushed out the best smile he could muster. She walked forwards, placing a cool hand on his cheek as she mutter quietly in Russian, a look of sadness swiping across her features, disappearing as quickly as it appeared. She walked out without a sound.

 

Leaving him alone. Wait, not completely alone 

“FRIDAY?” Tony’s voice wavered  
His phone lit up and the projection of Fridays matrix ball was now in front of him. 

“Good evening Boss, it’s great to hear your voice.” the Irish sounding AI spoke quietly.  
Tony let out a breath that he wasn’t even aware that he’d been holding.

“Yeah it’s great to hear your voice as well.” Tony teared up. Christ! He was becoming a goddamn sap “Thank you baby girl, thank you for saving me.”

\----

Every single night, without fail, he woke up to pain and panic several times throughout the night. It was maddening. Almost all of the times that it occurred the nursing staff would end up checking on him due to his increased heart rate and decreased oxygen levels. They would then attempt to calm him down, which they would fail, and that is when FRIDAY would speak up. Her voice would ground him and get him to listen to the staff as they would then give him some medicine for pain and to calm him enough to sleep a bit more even if it was restless sleep. Sometimes his friends were there, holding him and speaking quietly to him. Tony Stark was broken and he wasn’t sure how to fix himself.

And that is how he ended up sitting in a chair, across from a therapist. Tony was not happy. At all. 

The therapist, Dr. Susan Codsworth, was older but wise, with soft features and a kind smile that made you feel prideful whenever you made her smile. She was also totally evil. Tony can 100% vouch for that. She had to be! Because within the hour, he had spilled his guts about Siberia, which he hadn’t even done with his friends yet, and how he felt so numb, subdued and lonely, even with people actively talking to him, and making him smile and laugh. How, the only other thing other than loneliness and sadness he truly felt was terror. Like seriously he had never been that open with anyone except maybe his mother. So clearly she was an evil being.

By the end of the hour and a half session, he was administered antidepressants to help with both PTSD and Depression. Tony looked at the pills in distaste and dry swallowed them in one quick movement, cringing at the aftertaste.

Therapy is stupid.

\----

He was released from the hospital three days after his second therapy session, another booked for less than a weeks time. Dr. Codsworth was really good at getting Tony to talk. Apparently by just sitting there and having someone open to listen you and about your life’s woes it made you open up like a fucking bleeding wound. But she never forced him to talk. He just did. 

But the medication was a problem and as soon as he got home, Tony flushed the pills down the toilet. Because maybe therapy wasn’t as stupid as he first thought but the pills were definitely stupid.

But that didn't matter because FRIDAY, the goddamn traitor, told Pepper and she has decided that she will watch Tony take his pills everyday from now on, even if it was over video chat, and she will also always keep spares on her or where FRIDAY could get it to him. Just for that, she's definitely getting the silence treatment.

The pills were just so stupid. They made him feel fuzzy and out of focus with everything. It caused him to feel more numb than he already was. The worst part though was it made his mind slower and he was 10 million time more tired that he already was, stupid insomnia, stupid pills, stupid everything. Apparently though his body will get used to the medicine and those stupid things will eventually go away. Bullshit. It better or Tony WILL go on strike and will refuse to open his mouth until he isn't made to take them. 

Everything was fan-fucking-tastic 

Tony pushed his face further into his pillows tears stained them, his duvet was wrapped around him making him a burrito. He attempted to close his eyes again, but snapped back open immediately as memories flashed behind them. He knew he was never going to sleep well ever again, too much bad shit has happened to ensure him a good night's rest. Being forever haunted by memories fucking sucked.

Tony tossed and turned all night, sometimes drifting into a restless dream, only to snap awake seconds after he fell asleep. The only comfort was that FRIDAY was there every time gently talking him down, bringing him back to reality.

Will he ever have just one last decent night's sleep? Is that not too much to ask for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay new chapter 
> 
> beta'd by brickgirl101


	4. Quiet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oki hi im here to pretend iw didnt happen. its been haunting me since i saw it in april. anyway enjoy and shit, hope you like it :)
> 
>  
> 
> also check out my tumblr 'ronomanm' for updates and stuff

Tony’s fingers gently ran over the cool wood of the mahogany piano that resided it compound lounge. He sighed wistfully, Tony used to play the piano, and he was damn good at it too. His mom had taught him how and it was something that they had shared together. It was a memory that he had always held dear. 

Years ago before Afghanistan he would spend a lot of time behind the piano, it was how he kept the memory of his mother close, after Afghanistan he took time to enjoy playing and singing with Pepper, Rhodey, and even Happy. They were his family.

His second chance at life after the whole ironmonger debacle really brought everything into perspective and he enjoyed the little moments even more.

Don’t get him wrong he loved his AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and many other of the 70s and 80s Rock that he would blast in his workshop, but sometimes calming music from the piano was his preferred form of relaxation. He would sometimes sing along to cheesy love songs, too.

There were days he would just start playing the piano and burst into song, as if he was in a musical. Laughter would echo around him as he became carefree. No matter who he was with, Pepper, Happy, and especially Rhodey, if there was a song stuck in his head, he'd start singing, whistling or even humming. He'd bask in the soft sounds of the piano as he remembered playing with his mother. He enjoyed having Pepper and Rhodey around listening to him go at it and sing with him if they knew the song. He knew he played for anyone he trusted. So when he looked back her realized he never played for the Avengers, even when they were not so toxic, it shook him to the core. It was always something he felt insecure about it. Like they would judge him and criticize him on this talent that meant so much to him. He wasn’t going to let them ruin this important part of his life for him.

Now, as Tony stared at the beautiful piano in front of him. Not a single chord rang through the compound. Just silence.

Each time he went to try touch an ivory key he froze. He couldn't bring himself to sing or play or honestly do anything but sit and think. Think about everything and nothing, which was very redundant if you asked him.

He had tried to get lost in his workshop, to invent, to plan, to create, and he had gotten somewhere at least. He completed the schematics for Rhodey's braces, Mark I obviously, he had even gotten started on the fix for his chest, but otherwise nothing else. Given his brain wasn't as foggy as it had been when he first started the antidepressants, but he was still numb. 

Numb and alone.

Oh and don’t forgot cold, he was always cold now, 

The silence was deafening, and loud, it made his chest ache with loneliness, the feeling was bitter and sharp. 

His hands balled into fist and started shaking as he remembered The Before. The Before was the time when the Avengers as a team was also almost like a family. Though he never felt completely integrated he was still included in the team bonding nights, meals together like a family, joking, laughing, and oh the prank wars! Then Ultron happened. With Bruce gone and trust for Tony broken, the team retreated away from Tony, there were still team bonding nights, and meals and prank wars. But Tony wasn't involved or invited anymore, he was the cast out. 

‘And if we are being honest here the only thing that probably kept them around was the money.’ He thought bitterly, he had joked about it on and off regularly, but it did always bother him how much work he put in for them and they never once were thankful.

He had made a mistake, given Ultron wasn’t completely his fault, it still cost him greatly. He lost JARVIS, and his team, who he had hoped was becoming his family. But they all left, because of him. This really was all his fault. Worthless. Unneeded. 

Left behind like trash. He wondered what his father would say to him now. Would he still say that Tony was his ‘Greatest Creation’? Or would his old man shun him too?

He could briefly hear Dr. Codsworth voice in his head reprimanding him for the self loathing thoughts that were rattling around.

He slid down the wall his back pressed heavy against it looking for support. He pushed the heels of his hands into his shut eyes, attempting to stop the negative voices and their whispering. His breathing had started to get faster and all of his senses were disappearing. He felt the anxiety grow, reached for his chest, clutching at the shirt because everything was suddenly very tight, it was as if there was string wrapped around his lungs and heart, and it was being pulled, getting tighter and tighter with every breath he took.

 

He thinks he hears FRIDAY in the background but he’s too far gone at this point

Memories flashed passed behind his eyelids as he clenched his eyes closed, his regularly scheduled nightmares plaguing his thoughts. 

Then there was a cool hand on his cheek, fingers lightly brushing across his face and through his hair. He flinched a bit at the cold but the gentle touches were bringing him back, so he focused on it and its owner, a voice gently whispering for him to breathe. That he'd be okay.

 

Bullshit.

But he breathed anyway, he would not be okay, he was tired, hurt and alone. 

‘But at least not completely alone at the present moment’ He thought thankfully.

Tony opened his damp eyes, the world was spinning slightly, he squinted slightly at the sudden light. As his whiskey colored irises adjusted, he focused on the voice speaking to him, his head tilting to the side as the voice became clearer. 

He looked up from his place on the ground, finding Natasha watching him concern and guilt gracing her features as she watched the haunted billionaire return to reality.

"Hey, you here with me?" She spoke softly. She removed her hand from his hair, and watched his reactions "Are you able to stand and walk? You need food, let's go eat." 

Natasha stood up as Tony nodded, mumbling a quiet "Yes, and thanks" she held her hand out to him and she helped him up off the floor, she the turn and made her way to the kitchen, Tony followed.

Tony sat on a stool at breakfast bar section of the island. He rested his forehead in his still shaking hands as Natasha moved around the kitchen with ease and grace.

A glass of water was in front of him along with his pills. Tony glared down at them as they mocked him and his inability to deal with the shitstorm that was his life.

Natasha was in the process of making bacon and eggs for the both of them. It was still silent, but not the deafening silence that had caused the panic attack moments earlier, and it was a lot less lonely.

He swallowed his pills with a quick drink of the water, after he was done glaring at them.

"What are you doing here, Natasha? I thought you'd have run off by now, you know protect yourself, that’s what you’re all about right?” Tony snapped, but then looked down at his hand that were encircling the glass with water, in shame. He shouldn’t be pushing away one of the only people that were standing here supporting him. He softened his voice “I don’t understand.” His voice cracked and he sounded so broken.

Goddamnit he was stronger than this.  
Who was he trying to kid? He wasn’t, his current position proved it.

"I was going to. Run off, I mean. But...I heard that you were being transported to the hospital and that you could have died- and I- I just-" She chokes on her words and takes to flipping over the bacon, hiding her face from him behind a curtain of hair, "I shouldn't have let them go, they weren’t going to stop. I thought if I let them go- that- but you almost died because of that. And I should have stopped them, I should have helped more, So that's what I'm doing now. I’m helping the only way I know how.” 

And then the silence was back, but less strained as Tony thought through her words.

When she was done she slid the plate of food over to him, taking her own she slid onto the stool beside him. They ate in silence for a few minutes, until Tony had a question he had to ask.

"Did you know?" He asked timidly. He took another bite of bacon and watched her out of the corner of his eye.

"About what?" It was clear that she was confused by what exactly he was asking her about. Natasha looked up at him, placing her fork down. Her eyebrows furrowed.

"My parents... and the Winter Soldier?" He choked out. She cocked her head and paused, looking even more confused .

"Yes, I did, Since I was the one that did the info dump at Shield, but that was what, two years ago, Steve told me he told you. Why are you bringing this up now?" Natasha confessed.

Tony's breath hitched. "Two...years-?" He choked.

Natasha nodded, and then her eyes slowly narrowed in realisation.

"He didn't tell you? No- please tell me he told you. He told me he told you." Natasha rambled out her eyes wide.

Tony shook his head, and pushed his half done food away feeling too sick to his stomach to even look at it now. Natasha spoke sharply in Russian.

"You found out in Siberia." She whispered in further realization. Tony nodded, his head hanging down, tears rushing to the front of his eyes. It took him all of his strength to not let them spill over.

Natasha pulled his chin up to make eye contact. As she stared into his eyes she saw the broken man that Steven Rogers had left in his wake

"I swear to you that I will do anything and everything I can to make this better, if that means eviscerating Rogers, so be it, if you need me to leave, I will." Natasha pledged, Tony’s eyes searched hers as he hesitated.

"Stay. Please." He pleaded quietly.

She nodded in acknowledgement, kissed him on the forehead and stood up grabbing the plates and cleaning up the kitchen.

It was quiet again, but this was a good quiet. It was a quiet that promised hope.

\----

 

It was after that they fell into a of routine of sorts. They'd get up in the morning, ‘Tasha’, she pushed Tony to call her that, would make breakfast, because everyone knew Tony couldn’t cook worth a damn, and would have it waiting and ready for Tony with his medicine, which he still glared at it every time.

They would then eat together sometimes in silence and sometimes making mindless small talk.

The day would bleed on to find them on the couch having a lunch of some sort, that usually Tony would order, and they'd watch ‘Rocambolesco’, it was some weird ass Italian soap opera that they both, for some reason, were really into. After watching an episode or two of that, after that they tended go about doing their own things for awhile. 

Tasha killed time by training, most of the time. She obviously did other things too but Tony was never one to intrude. 

Tony’s free time consisted of him poking around his lab and workshop, and trying to get somewhere with basically anything. He worked on plans for new StarkTech, and even Iron Man upgrades. On top of that he was even working on ideas for the Spiderling, but that all really worked around his emotions at the time.  
Some days he would just stare blankly in front of himself, his eyes not actually seeing anything, and would glisten with exhaustion 

Then dinner time would come and anyone of the four, Tasha, Pepper, Happy, or Rhodey, depending on who was there at the time, would drag him out of whatever he was doing and sit him down with his food and medicine. 

It was the new normal. After talking with Dr. Codsworth he realized it was giving him comfort in having a routine, one that naturally developed and wasn’t forced upon him. 

Today Tasha wasn't actually at the compound, she had some errands to get done, so he set their show to record and put a movie on as background noise. He’d been sitting on the couch most of the day, his tablet in his lap, as he fiddled with plans for upcoming projects. That was until FRIDAY spoke up.

"Boss, you seem to have visitors." The Irish twang of his AI gently rang out.

Tony's eyebrows shot up to his hairline in surprise. He hasn't had anyone visit him, other than his small group of four, since the hospital. Well except for Dr. Codsworth, of course.

"Who is it?" he asked his voice laced with nervousness.

The security feed pops up in front of Tony, showing a small gathering of people. Five people to be exact. At least some of them were familiar faces. 

"Why are there people at my door FRI?" 

"I believe that Ms. Potts has called them here today."

Goddamn Pepper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woowow new chapter  
> check out my tumblr and stuff if you wanna get updates 'ronomanm'
> 
> thanks to my beta Brickgirl101


	5. Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oki hi im here to pretend iw didnt happen. its been haunting me since i saw it in april. anyway enjoy and shit, hope you like it :)
> 
>  
> 
> also check out my tumblr 'ronomanm' for updates and stuff

Tony bit his bottom lip nervously. He could feel the slight swell in his chest as anxiety gripped at his heart and lungs. His heart hammered against his still damaged and healing ribs. His bare feet, that padded softly on floor, seemed to echo. He took some calming breaths, he could do this.

As he was approaching the door his mind was racing. Why was he going to open the door for these people? He knew that once he opened this door, both physically and emotionally, it would all turn to shit. He could see the disaster coming. It would blow up in his face just like everything else in his life had. 

He had suspicions as to why these people were here, and he was definitely planning on giving Rhodey a piece of his mind for going through his personal files, if he was right, which when is he ever not right? Oh and he might have to ground FRIDAY too while he was at it.

His hands shook as he reached for the door handle and pulled open the door. Tony smiled, it was a obviously a very strained and shaky smile, but it was the best he could do for now.

“Viz! Where have you been? Also, you know your codes haven’t changed, right? You didn’t have to wait at the door, this is your home too. Hell, you could have even phased through the wall.” He began, his voice cracked a bit as he rambled, his eyes swept over the five figures in front of him nervously, Tony started wringing his hands. Tony cleared his throat and attempted to put his mask on. “Anyways how can I help you all?"

In front of him stood the Spiderling, Vision, Hope van Dyne, a woman dressed in an Air Force uniform and a man dressed in robes. With a red cape. That said cape appeared to wave at him, with a smirk slipping onto his face he gave a small wave back.

Tony’s suspisions were even more confirmed because he recognized the last two people from their files that he had complied in the months prior to this event. He pushed back the sleeves of one of Rhodeys sweaters that was basically swallowing him, it had pushed away the loneliness and anxiety that had been eating at Tony earlier, so sue him if he steals his best friends clothes. (He totally hasn't had that sweater for years...)

"Ms. Potts and Colonel Rhodes sent me to retrieve a few of our current and future associates, and then informed me to come to the compound for a meeting with them. Also with everything that has occurred I figured it would be best if I didn’t just appear, and FRIDAY agreed." The android explained.

Tony’s shoulders relaxed slightly at Visions explanation, JARVIS’ old voice speaking to him calming him more so. 

Tony nodded thoughtfully, "Huh. Well I feel very underdressed now. Uh, come on in then, I guess." Tony stuttered and moved away from the door allowing it to open further, letting the small group in. Vision led everyone in and they passed Tony. The sentient cape brushed his arm as its owner walked by, which gave Tony a warm comforting feeling that surprised him. Tony followed behind the group, after closing the door, his anxiety made it uncomfortable for him to have his back facing the couple of new faces, but his solution seemed to ebb away some of the tightness in his chest. It gave him some semblance of control and that was a much needed thing for him these days.

Peter, decked out in his suit, fell into step with Tony as Vision continued to lead the small crew of people down to the common lounge. Peter was talking excitedly about being called in for a meeting and asking what was going to be talked about. Tony gave him a small smile, slung his arm around the young boy and squeezed his shoulder, telling him that he has an idea of what’s going on but that he should just wait and see.

After the short walk to the lounge, they all find a spot to sit while Tony finds his way back to his spot he had been cocooned in a few minutes ago, he asked FRIDAY to turn the TV off and he shut down his work on the tablet and set it to the side. The small group sat in an awkward silence, Peter shifting around in his seat every few seconds.

"So?” Tony drawled for a second deciding to break the silence “I know you three," Tony gestured at Hope, Vision and Peter, "But I can't say I personally know you two."  
He looked at the remaining two in the room

"Major Carol Danvers." She was sitting in the chair by the couch he was on so she held out her hand for him, Tony shook it and nodded. He knew much about the woman and her achievements, they were all in a growing file that Tony hadn’t touched since before the Civil War. Oh boy were Rhodey and FRIDAY so much trouble. 

"Dr. Stephen Strange. Sorcerer Supreme." He just gave a curt nod towards Tony.

"Neurosurgeon, right?" Stephen's eyes flashed in surprise at being recognized, but he gave a nod. Tony paused wanting to get to know more about the mysterious figure in front of him, because honestly there wasn’t much reported after the mans accident, "What's with the cape?" Said cape ruffled with something akin to glee at the attention.

"It's the Cloak of Levitation. Not a cape." Stephen chided. The cape-Cloak, waved at Tony again. 

"Okay, okay! No need to get your cape in a twist." Tony's eyes twinkled in amusement and Strange just rolled his eyes. The feeling of dread was dissipating from Tony’s chest, a warm light feeling replacing it.

Then there was the sound of heels clicking on the ground, it echoed down the hall, signifying Peppers arrival, Rhodey wheeling along after her. When they enter room Tony was surprised to see Tasha is with them too.  
Tony’s eyes narrowed playfully.

"Hey, you knew about this Tasha? How could you? To think, I even recorded Rocambolesco for us to watch together." He huffed, His English slipped into Italian for the last sentence. Tasha smiled, kissing his head. The onlookers watching the exchange, curiosity peeking when Tony spoke in Italian.

"I’m so sorry, Antoshka," She tapped his nose with a cool finger, "I hope you can find in in yourself to forgive me." Tasha teased him in Italian, she moved to sit on the couch next to him and pulled some of his blanket onto herself, she kicked her legs up and rested them in Tony’s lap.

Pepper came up behind the couch and leaned down kissing Tony’s hair. She stood tall and ran her hands through Tony's hair, his head tilting back, as nails began scratching against his scalp, he sighed, contented. His eyes look up at her and their gazes locked, she sighed after taking in his person, with the dark bruises under his eyes and what he was wearing.

"Tones, man, I swear I have been looking for that sweater, and several others, since the 90s. Do you seriously have them all?" Rhodey inquired in a shocked tone. 

Tony shrugged sheepishly. “Maybe?”

"He has almost all of my fluffy blankets. I’ve had to hide a few, especially my really expensive sherpa blanket." Tasha complained pushed Tony’s shoulder lightly. Tony made a face, and looked as though he was about to deny such an act. "Don't even try to deny it.” Tasha cut him off before he could say anything, “I see them on your 'secret' couch in your workshop, like some sort of nest." Tony just shrugged at that, making a mental note to relocate his secret couch.

"He’s stolen some of my really nice feather pillows, thankfully I have access to his bank account so I can just buy new ones.” Pepper interjected playfully, her hands continuing to scratch his scalp. She could see Tony’s body loosen at her actions, “Through my many years of being around him, being both his old assistant and ex girlfriend, and current best friend and CEO, I can safely call him a hoarder." 

Tony puffed out his pink tinted cheeks attempting to hide some of the embarrassment, "Can we please stop discussing my hoarder tendencies and move on to why this meeting was called?" 

Pepper stopped her menstrations and slipped her shoes off. She moved her long legs over the back of the couch and adjusted herself so Tony’s head rested between her leg as she now sat on the back of the couch, she continued her petting, and scratching of Tony’s soft hair, Tony sighing happily at the touch.

Rhodes was smiling at his best friend and brother, he looked like he was slowly getting better, there was still a long road ahead but if everything worked the way he hoped things would start getting better for Tony.

"Okay, so whilst you have been sulking,” Rhodey gave him a pointed look, "Don't interrupt me, you know you’ve been sulking, I mean rightfully so, but still...” Rhodey trailed off slightly.

“You went through my files.” Tony deadpanned.

Rhodey raised his hands up in surrender, "Tony, I knew you had to have a contingency plan in place, just in case something happened to you or Rogers.” Rhodey spat the name, “So yes Tasha and I accessed your personal files to find what you had down for a plan. Pepper, Tasha, Vision and I discussed it and we decided to put your New Avengers Protocol to use, so here we are after a few weeks of looking around, and many discussions, we have,” He gestured at everyone in the sitting area, "Warbird, Spiderman, The Vision, The Sorcerer Supreme and The Wasp. And then obviously you and me, Iron Man and-"

"War Machine." Tony interjected.

"And War Machine." Rhodey agreed and smiled as Tony whooped and did a fist pump in the air at the name, quickly forgetting his frustration at his friends invasion of privacy, "Anyway we read through you plans for the future, and your notes about the vision you had back in the Sokovia HYDRA base. Oh and watched it. Why the hell you recorded and saved the scene with BARF I will never understand...” Rhodey shuttered, “So after evaluating everything we decided to contact everyone we could, that you had listed and here we are." 

"A vision?" Dr. Strange chimed in, his brows drawn together, "You had a vision?" 

"I was shown what I think is going to be something that happens in the future. I was told later that I was just shown my greatest fear, but it was too real to be just that.” Tony’s voice wavered and broke as a chill ran down his spine, now all Tony could think about is the scene that Wanda had made him see, it was one of those things he saw on a nightly basis and had tried to use BARF to relieve himself of it but it hadn’t worked, ”I think that Earth is going to be attacked, again. Think of The Battle of New York, but ten times more Chitauri and twenty times worse. It’s almost like New York was just a test, something sent to see what we could do." Tony rambled, he sighed and leaned his head further into Peppers lap as anxiety had started to grip at his chest again. He wouldn't have another panic, not now. Not when there's a bunch of people to look at him and judge him for it.

"What would joining the 'New Avengers' entail exactly?" Carol spoke up inquisitively. 

"Well, Major, you'd be given a room in the compound, which you wouldn't have to stay at all the time but being here periodically would be recommended for efficiency, and you would have to sign the new Accords that UN and Tony have been working on, and will most likely continue working on in the coming months. There will be mandatory team building exercises as well. There wasn’t enough of those last time and we definitely need to make sure everyone in the ‘New Avengers’ knows how to work as a team, on and off the field." Rhodey explained to the group as a whole. Everyone present nodded in understanding.

"I'd be happy to help, Colonel Rhodes!" Peter was the first to speak up. The young man sprang up excitedly, his arms flailing a bit as his lanky body almost lost balance. Even with the mask covering the boys features Tony could tell he was grinning from the tone of his voice and the way he was bouncing on the balls of his feet. Tony smirked, his anxiety continued to fade more at the display in front of him. Rhodey smiled at the hyperactive boy.

"As Tony put on your file, you'd be a 'friendly neighbourhood Spider Man' until you're eighteen and have gotten the proper training but you'll still be included in the exercises and any group activities." Rhodey placated the boy, Peter nodded excited about being included. 

"I’m in, I'm sure my father will have some choice words to say about all of this, but since when have we ever cared about what our fathers said, right Tony?" Tony chuckled at Hopes question. 

Hope and Tony were childhood friends and kept in touch even through Hank and Howard’s falling out in 1989. After getting Howards notebooks and stuff back when he was dying and then getting into SHIELDs files a few years ago, he found out exactly what had happened. He told Hope what Howard had done and what SHIELD had been attempting to do. Tony completely understood and agreed with her father's actions since he had a similar issue with his armor and the government. But Tony was still a Stark so he had that going against him with Hank Pym 

Tony’s eyes swept over Stephen, Carol and Vision in question. 

"It would be my pleasure to help you, Sir." Tony swallowed thickly at Vision using JARVIS’ old title for him, and nodded. 

"I'll have to inform the Air Force of my decision and will have to collect my things but I will only be a few days." Carol added, looking at Tony softly.

Tony turned to look at Stephen expectantly. The man in question sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose with his gloved and shaky hands.

"I won't be able to stay over at the compound every night as I do have to protect the New York Sanctum and have my Sorcerer Supreme duties, but when Wong is able to take over, I will be here." Strange stated in a no nonsense tone. Oh Tony was going to have fun messing with the sorcerer.

Tony sat up a bit, almost excited at the prospect of actually having people that he could learn to trust around him. 

He leaned forward away from Pepper, clapped his hands, and rubbed them together.

"Okay, cool. I'll show you the rooms you'll be staying in when you're all here." 

 

Maybe this could actually work.

\----

A week passed quickly.  
Tony had been hard at work on Mark I of Rhodey's braces, it was still in prototype mode but there was at least something for Rhodey to use now in PT and outside of the compound, giving him something to get used to. 

The prior day had been a tough day for Tony, on top of moving day, Tony had also received a bullshit apology and an old flip phone from Steve Rogers. It had sent him into a rage induced panic attack that thankfully Rhodey had been the only one around for at the time, while he had been trying his new brace on. Needless to say Tony was not okay, but he knew how to put mask on, so he shoved the letter and dinosaur of a phone deep into a random drawer and shoved his rage away for until he saw Dr. Codsworth and was able to talk things through with her.

It was shortly after he had calmed down when he received the alert about the Raft breakout. He basically ignored Secretary Ross, knowing fully well what he was allowing to happen, but hoping against all hope that if he let them go, let them be, that maybe, just maybe he could move on. If the Rogues or ex-Avengers or whatever stayed away and hidden maybe there would be no further problems and Tony and his hopefully new team could fight together and save the world from whatever was coming. 

Or at least that’s what Tony kept trying to tell himself.

Goddamn, he really needed to talk with Dr Codsworth. 

That night everyone had stayed at the compound, including Stephen. And by the time morning came around, in pure Tony fashion, he had completely forgotten that there other people living in the compound.

He shuffled through the common lounge and into the kitchen, his head hurting from the lack of sleep, the nightmares had been particularly bad due to the stress from the day before, not even his sleep medicine had worked. Tony following the smell of food, where Tasha was cooking for everyone. Tony paused, frozen for a moment and then his brain kick started and he remembered about the New Avengers moving into the compound.

Tony waved mutely at everyone who was milling around the kitchen. He shuffled over to the coffee pot and poured himself decently large amount into his ‘I am Ironman’ mug. He moved over to the breakfast bar and slipped into his usual seat, Tasha sliding food in front of him. He gave her a small smile and kissed her cheek in appreciation.

"Thanks Tasha.” Tony whispered.

Everyone ate in silence, other than the news on in the background, and the sounds of phones clicking and newspapers crinkling.

Once everyone was finished eating a couple of them made awkward small talk.

"Boss, this is your reminder to take your morning medication." FRIDAY chimed, sounding apologetic, Tony glared down at his hands which had clenched into fists at FRIDAY’s announcement.

Tony sighed and was about to get up to retrieve said medication, when Pepper popped up behind him. Sliding his pill organizer on the counter beside him, she kissed him on the head and returned to the table to continue whatever work she had been doing on her laptop.

Tony continued to glare downwards as he poured the couple of pills out of one of the compartments into his open palm. He hated these damn things, he closed his eyes and popped them into his mouth, chasing it with coffee.

He was aware of Hope, Carol, and Stephen’s curious gaze on him, watching him. Red tinted his cheeks in embarrassment as his weakness was showing. 

"The key to teamwork is communication, Tones. Maybe you should tell them." Rhodey spoke softly to Tony placing a hand on him in support, making sure nobody could hear them.

"Fuck,” Tony ran his hands through his hair, "Trust me I know. It just, this whole thing sucks." Tony growled in frustration.

Tony looked to the group, he wrung his hands nervously “I have severe PTSD and anxiety, due to my many trial and tribulations since my kidnapping back in 2009.” Tony confessed, "I’ve almost died so many times I’ve lost count-“

“You are at like nine or ten at this point." Pepper interjected, Tony rolled his eyes and looked over at Pepper. He missed the look that that the new ‘New Avengers’ has given him.

“Anyways with shit storm that has been my life, I’ve ended up with some serious mental and emotional damage that even my own BARF technology can’t cure so I’ve been made to pills to regulate and maintain certain aspects of my life.” Tony explained.

He saw Stephen from the corner of his eyes nodding and looking very sympathetic towards the billionaire. He had soft and sympathetic looks coming from everyone in the room and suddenly he had the revelation that he never said anything to that extent to any of the ex-Avengers. He looked over to Tasha and she must have had the same thought process because she looked just as surprised as he felt.

"Anyway on the note of teamwork,” Pepper stepped in and brought attention away from Tony, he would have to get her something really nice as a present later. “I actually have a team bonding activity planned for everyone today, a sort of moving in celebration, who’s up for going paintballing?” 

\----

Everyone made it to the paintballing place after they had to get some things together and figured out.

Tony and Pepper had to talk in length before they left due to the fact she hadn’t even thought about the fact that Tony’s chest was still healing, and that this activity might, one, injure him more and two, he would get too tired since he was still working on his own physical therapy due to getting short of breath quicker then he used to. Pepper apologized so many times that Tony had lost count. 

He explained to Pepper and his new team, he smiled at the fact that he already felt comfortable calling them that, that he had a few close calls while working in his workshop so he made a very light and effective external chest protector so that way if something fell on his weak and healing chest it wouldn’t crush him and kill him. He also made it to connect with FRIDAY’s interface so she could keep an eye on his heart rate and oxygen levels. Since he was still working on the fix for his chest, which he had a few breakthroughs but with everything going on he was finding a few hiccups in his research, so he had make something to help keep himself safe and alive, for now.

On the way up Tony had driven and picked up Peter from his Aunt's, after promising her he would be safe they made haste. 

Everyone else was struggling a bit to get into gear that fit comfortably when they arrived. Rhodey was shifting awkwardly with his braces on his legs, he was looking forward to this workout, but knew he would have to take it easy, just as Tony had too as well.

Tony and Rhodey had managed to talk Pepper into joining them and let them tell you, she was not happy about it, but she sucked it up as she watched as Tony donned the chest protector and then placed the earpiece back in place so he was connected with FRIDAY. 

Both him and Tasha complained that they were missing their show, Pepper just gave them a look and they both glared at her. Tony had already triple checked to make sure that it was being recorded, FRIDAY was thoroughly annoyed.

There were two matches planned. The first one was the group of them (Tony, Rhodey, Carol, Pepper, Peter, Hope, Stephen, Vision, Tasha) against a random group of ten.

They huddled up and spent five minutes working on perfecting a plan, making sure every single part of it would run as smoothly as possible. They even put their hands in the middle and yelled something cheesy that Tony couldn't actually remember, but it made him extremely happy, and the smile that was on his face was the first genuine one he has had in a very long time.

They worked perfectly together. Their movements were fluid and blended into each part of the plan effortlessly. They easily managed to defeat the opposing team without losing a single one of their own.

After taking a short break, and letting Tony catch his breath they were set to start the next round.

"Okay, so this round it'll be in teams. Carol and Vision, Rhodey and Tasha, Hope and Peter and Stephen and Tony.” Pepper listed off.

They all moved to stand next to their chosen partner. Peter and Hope had a short conversation and then looked at Pepper.

"Pepper, you're on our team." Hope declared, Pepper grumbled about having to do this again but pushed her hair back up into a ponytail and trudged over to them.

Everyone separated to go and plan their attack.

"Okay, Strange, any ideas for a plan?" Tony inquired, Stephen paused and thought for a few beats.

"I think...I might have one." Stephen stated after a few seconds, Tony grinned, this was going to be good.

\----

"You ready?" Tony asked 

 

"As I'll ever be." Stephen declared. They bumped their elbows together in a sort of high five thing. And smirked at each other.

The alarm blared suddenly, signaling the beginning of the new game.

Stephen and Tony moved quickly to hide behind a large wall, with a few quick hand movements Stephen cast an charm over the both of them. It was chameleon charm to be exact. It wouldn’t make them invisible, but it would make them extremely hard to spot, and help them blend in to their surroundings.

After they were ready, they both made their way to a better vantage point and waited.

Soon, Pepper, Peter and Hope appeared in their line of sight. Tony motioned to Peter first then Hope then Pepper. Stephen nodded in understanding and they lined up their shots.

The following moments happened in quick succession. Peter’s spidey senses kicked in and he flipped back to avoid a shot that hit the tree that he had just been standing in front of, right into another paintball that struck him right in the chest. By then it was too late for Hope and Pepper because both were shot just as quickly.

Looking around the trio couldn’t see anyone or anything except a flick of some tree branches. They shrugged and made their way back to the base.

Stephen and Tony were able to encroach and get the jump on Vision, and Rhodey pretty quickly. Which only left Tasha and Carol 

“And then there were four.” Tony whispered.

Carol and Tasha were lurking around here somewhere, and it was obvious to Tony that the two must have teamed up together.

Tony and Stephen stealthily crept along the paint-covered battlefield. 

Tony suddenly felt two 'thump's' against his chest flinching a bit at the sound but thankfully no pain followed. He looked around and cussed as he saw Carol and Tasha high fiving each other.

Stephens enchantment flickered off of Tony as the sorcerer ran off to try get a different vantage point to get the two females

Tony stuck his tongue out at the two of them and made his way back to base to cheer on Stephen and watch the rest of the match through the TV monitors that were hooked up to the cameras scattered around the play field. 

Two minutes later Stephen was cornered and shot and the game was called.

But, despite losing, everyone smiled, laughed, and congratulated Tasha and Carol.

\----

They went out to dinner to finish off the day, everything was much less awkward. Conversation flowed easily and they all joked and laughed about stupid things they've done in the past.

"There was one time in MIT, a lot happened while we were there, anyways I was just getting back from class, and I get to our floor and I see smoke seeping out of our room, the smell of smoke was strong I was surprised that the fire department wasn’t there yet. So of course I thought the worst. Right? So I ran into the room! And there is Tony cackling evilly while burning Furbies. He was sitting inbetween our beds, burning Furbies." Everybody laughed as Tony's face reddened.

 

“Ok first of all, it is an actual fact that I’ve proven that some Furbies had cameras in them that sent videos and sound bytes to the government. And second I was drunk and furbies are literal demon spawn, okay? I mean they look like fucking Gremlins!" Tony tried to defend himself.

Everyone just laughed harder.

This was nice. Maybe, just maybe, Tony will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hi heres a new chapter. hope you enjoy
> 
> thanks to my beta - brickgirl101 :)


	6. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oki hi im here to pretend iw didnt happen. its been haunting me since i saw it in april. anyway enjoy and shit, hope you like it :)
> 
>  
> 
> also check out my tumblr 'ronomanm' for updates and stuff

It was weird… very weird to say in the least, to have others around. It was taking some serious adjusting to have more that Tasha and FRIDAY around constantly with the exception of Rhodey and Pepper's sporadic visits.

In the last month since the new team had moved in he had finally found a decent routine to follow. This team was so different from his previous one and he found himself talking with Tasha about that fact often after they were finished watching their show for the day and, or during lunch.

Tony had been busy dealing with the UN and the Accords through the last few weeks as well, but he was still finding his life to be relatively calm considering. Pepper was covering most of Stark Industries dealings except for a few signatures from Tony here and there, being that he was still the primary shareholder. Hope helped him with some of the paperwork and deals with the UN and SI, giving him insight and advice, which he had come to appreciate significantly. Carol had been a large help with most of the Avengers training, business dealings and what not. With Rhodes and her working together on that, it took a large load off his own shoulders. Stephen had become a very silent but constant companion throughout the last few weeks, when he was at the compound. He would sometimes pop in while Tasha and Tony were watching Rocambolesco and read a book while the two of them would yell and cry at the TV. He could be heard laughing in the background. With Stephen hanging around as often as he had, he was often found following the genius around as they had grown quite close as well. They almost were willing to call each other friends. All in all Tony was growing extremely comfortable having others around.

He found that he could tease and play around more with the new team without starting a fight, being yelled at or demeaned in anyway. It was refreshing. 

Dr Codsworth commented on the changes she had noticed in him, they talked through the differences he was experiencing along with his fears of things returning to how they had been before.

Even with all the good he still had bad days too. On those days he tended to lock himself away in his workshop but someone would eventually come and pull him out, and take him to spend time with whoever was there and to eat a meal depending on the time of day.

Currently Tony had been awake for roughly 72 hours he was currently in the middle of tweaking Mark II of Rhodey's braces. Because fucking nightmares, anytime he attempted to close his eyes he was haunted by the cold and the images of his past, and many mistakes.

"Boss, Major Danvers has requested you to the lounge for this week's game night." FRIDAY’s announcement made him jump slightly, as he had been lost in thought.

"Tell her I'll be up in five minutes." Tony spoke quietly in response, he packed away the braces and saved the blueprints. He scrubbed his face roughly with calloused hands and made his way to the Game room that he had recently added.

He scanned the room as he walked in. Everyone was there except Peter and Pepper. As he walked past Stephen, they bump elbows as per usual, Stephen also gave Tony a wink and he smirked in return. Tony proceeded to highfive Rhodey and gave Hope a half hug as he walked past them, into the kitchen.

Tony opened the fridge and stared blankly into it. Tapping his foot, annoyed at the fogginess and haze that had settled in his brain due to the lack of food and sleep on top of his medication.

"You know that there is food in the game room, right?" The sound of a voice rang out behind him, Tony swore that he jumped a literal foot in the air.

"Jesus Christ!" He exclaimed as he spun quickly almost losing his balance.

"Not quite." Stephen smirked at the fellow genius and then rolled his eyes as Tony held his chest in dramatics, "What are you looking for exactly?" 

"I don't actually know." Tony frowned. Did he just walk into the kitchen for no fucking reason? The answer was probably yes. But he was in a serious haze at the moment, so sue him.

"I believe you did." Stephen retorted, his eyebrows were raised in amusement. Tony puffed out his pink dusted cheeks and walked past him, embarrassment flooding him.

"Asshole." Tony muttered, Stephen chuckled and they both joined the others.

\----

Everyone present was scattered through the room, Rhodey, Carol, Tasha and Hope were on the large couch in front of the large screen TV, currently playing a very heated game of Mario-Kart, Rhodey and Carol were sitting suspiciously close. Vision lounged on an armchair, entertained enough to just watch and hang out. Which left Tony and Stephen, who were sitting together on a plush loveseat.

Tony's eyes had begun slipping closed soon after he had sat down, his head kept lolling and drooping, causing him to snap back awake every time. He took a large swig of his coffee, attempting to keep himself awake, but it was useless, it did absolutely nothing to fight off the exhaustion that had settled into his bones. He quickly lost the battle.

Stephen was surprised when he felt a sudden weight on his shoulder, he turned his head to examine to find that the warm weight that had appeared was none other than a sleeping engineer, he smiled fondly. He felt relief to see the man had finally succumbed to sleep knowing that he hadn’t slept in awhile. Stephen adjusted himself and Tony into a more comfortable position. Scooting down a bit so his neck was supported by the back of the loveseat and moving Tony's head so the engineer was resting against his chest rather than his boney shoulder.

It wasn’t long before Stephen found himself drifting off too, Tony's quiet snores were quite quickly lulling him to sleep. Stephens arm limply fell around Tony's shoulders and his head fell back as he too, fell asleep.

If anyone ‘awed', nobody mentioned it.

\----

Stephen woke up with his chest feeling wet, he went to look up but winced at the slight crick in his neck. He hissed as he turned his neck slightly, it cracked, and he sighed at the relief. He opened his eyes and looked down only for his vision to be blocked by dark brown curls that tickled his nose. Oh, right. He ended up falling asleep last night. With Tony on his chest. A small smile graced his lips as he looked down affectionately. He looked over at the clock and was surprised to see it was five am. Stephen just rolled his eyes in exasperation and then closed them preparing to go back to sleep after he adjusted the blanket covering them both. He wrote off the wetness on his chest to Tony drooling or something.

But that was until he heard a whimper, the sound was muffled against his chest as Tony’s head turned into it. He felt Tony flinch and jolt against him. He was having a nightmare. Shit.

"Hey, hey. Tony, Tony wake up. It's just a nightmare." Stephen whispered gently as he sat up, sitting Tony up with him. Stephen had to react quickly to catch Tony’s wrists gently as the engineer lashed out, his eyes were wide in fear, and unseeing. “Tony it’s me Ste- Strange” he decided not to use Stephen, since Steven was probably not a name he wanted to here, "I got you, you are safe."

Stephen placed one of his shaking hands on Tony's cheek, trying to ground the frantic looking man, his other hand grabbed the blanket that had been laid over them and wiped Tony’s face of tears and sweat. He discarded the blanket and moved his free had to card through Tony’s sweat soaked curls as the hand that was still on the man’s cheek caressed it gently.

"Tony, c'mon, focus on me. I got you” Stephen spoke softly fighting away the words that ‘It'll be okay’ because he already knew very well that Tony had a long road ahead of him and that he would not be okay for a while. Stephen still fought away nightmares about his time in the dark dimension, and his many deaths, so he could imagine a bit of what Tony was experiencing.

Finally Tony's eyes blinked, awareness flooding his eyes, tears swam in them. Tony’s breathing hitched, as he hiccuped.

"S-Stephen..?" Tony croaked, breathlessly. He was clutching painfully at his chest.

"Yeah, it's me. I’m here. I got you.” Stephen stated firmly. Tony curled into his chest, tears fell silently, dampening Stephens already wet shirt. 

Stephen gave him a few minutes, he continued running his hands through Tony’s hair a bit longer, before pulling him up.

"Come on, let's get you some water and cleaned up a bit." Stephen spoke softly while leading Tony, who was leaning heavily on him, to the kitchen.

They made their way into the kitchen, Stephen helped Tony sit at the breakfast bar and onto one of the stools, then Stephen proceeded to retrieve water, a dose of Tony’s anti anxiety meds and a lukewarm wet paper towel.

He pushed the meds and water in front of Tony who took the medicine with no complaints or glaring or anything. Tony downed the water and when he set the cup down, one Stephen’s shaky hands came to guide Tony’s chin upward. 

Stephen was shocked to see the dead and void look in Tony’s eyes. This man was broken. Stephen felt his face soften as he mentally swore that he would make Rogers, and anyone else who caused this man so much pain, to pay for doing such a deed.

One of Stephens shaking hands brought the wet cloth to Tony's face and proceeded to wipe away the leftover evidence of Tony’s nightmare

"Do you want to talk about it or no?" Stephen asked softly.

Tony hesitated but shook his head, Stephen finished what he was doing and then threw the wet, dirty towel into the trash. 

"Do you want to try to get more sleep?" Stephen asked trying to get a feel for what Tony needed at the moment.  
This time, Tony immediately shook his head with no hesitation, "That’s okay." Stephen smiled softly and went about making tea, eggs and bacon for the both of them.

Tony rested his head on the cool granate of the countertop. His head pounded as he evaluated what had just occurred. Yes, he had a nightmare but he realized that he just had about six or seven hours of consecutive sleep. Which was truly the longest he had slept in a very long time. He moved his arms and rested his chin on them as they crossed over each other.   
He watched Stephen in fascination, this man wasn’t prying or bugging Tony about what had just occurred. For that he was grateful but now as he became more aware, he also became more embarrassed.

Stephen set the food and tea in front of Tony and also put Tony’s pill organizer in front of him so he could take his other medications for the day.

Tony looked down incredulously at the tea but decided not to fight it, even if he wanted coffee instead. Tony took his other medications, and they proceeded to eat quietly

After they were finished eating, they sipped at their tea and sat in silence.

\----

it was about an hour or two later that everyone found Stephen and Tony sitting in the kitchen, in what seemed to be a relatively relaxed silence. Stephen was reading a book while Tony had his tablet in front of him with holograms projecting above it working on plans for projects and what not.

Tony was feeling...awkward and tense. 

He was trying his best to hide his panic as it continued to swell in him slowly but surely.  
He really wished that he hadn’t had a nightmare whilst with anyone. And it just had to be Stephen. Now he was going to truly realize how screwed up Tony actually was and abandon him just like everyone always does eventually. Tony hadn’t felt judged yet but he knew it was coming, it always did. 

Everyone milled around kitchen like usual. The news was on in the background. Tasha placed some coffee in front of Tony, and Tony being Tony downed it in one go. The man had hoped that the coffee would give him the the calm warmth he so desperately needed. It didn’t. 

This was the calm before the storm.

Tony’s panic finally was reaching its limit. He rested his hand against his chest trying to steady himself, he knew he wasn’t going to make it out of here to hide away during this panic attack.

He hiccuped, trying to fight it a bit longer. Even though he knew it was useless. Thankfully nobody noticed, so nobody saw his flinch of pain.

Silent hiccups shook him. The sound of the news hid his small noises. His chest spasmed in pain with each jolt to his chest, his heart stuttered wildly. One hand pressed against his chest and the other accidently swiped along the counter, knocking his mug to the floor, grabbing everyone's undivided attention.

Blood was rushing in his ears, Tony could hear voices around him, but he couldn’t make out what was being said to him. 

He clawed at his chest tearing his shirt in the process trying to ease any tension away from his aching and pain sternum 

"I...can't breathe..." Tony choked out, his vision tunneling. 

He tried, he really did try to push it all away, obviously it failed and now everyone was seeing how truly broken Tony “Fucking” Stark really was.

That was the last thought before he blacked out.

And of course, in that moment, an alert from the UN was received, requesting the new team to assemble.

Well fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay new chapter! poor tony didnt have very much fun tho. hope you enjoyed!
> 
> thanks to my beta - brickgirl101


	7. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oki hi im here to pretend iw didnt happen. its been haunting me since i saw it in april. anyway enjoy and shit, hope you like it :)
> 
>  
> 
> also check out my tumblr 'ronomanm' for updates and stuff

Tony came too. His breathing just as labored as it had been when he first passed out, which couldn’t have been that long ago. He tried to get his bearings after realizing what was happening. He attempted to get a grasp on his emotions.

It didn’t help that he felt like his lungs were swollen. They had to be pressing up against his ribs, for the amount of pain he was feeling. Everything was tight, his lungs, heart and diaphragm all fought for room under his hurting rib cage, it caused Tony to cough painfully as his diaphragm spasmed. 

Tony couldn’t hear a thing. Blood was rushing and that’s all his ears were retaining., Hiccups and panic were stealing his breath away still, he felt as if he was going to pass out again. 

The next moments passed quickly, and he didn’t completely register what was happening. A hand was placed on his shoulder and side each, helping his up off the floor, and he was guided to the living room. In the background the sounds of the emergency alarm had ceased. He was seated on to a couch and he felt as his shaking hands were placed somewhere. Under his fingers, he felt the steady beat of a heart and the soft rumble of a voice speaking to him. As he came too further, he realized it was Hope. She was hugging his hands to her chest above her breasts and telling him to breathe. 

If he was in a better state, he would probably have made some lewd comment about being as close to her breast as he was but as it stood, he was currently fighting against the hiccups that kept rocketing through him, causing him to flinch with each spasm. 

He was now painfully aware of a straw that was suddenly pushed against his lips.

“Just drink the water. Don’t stop until I say so, hopefully it’ll get rid of your hiccups.” Hope instructed, Tony did what he was told and when she said to stop, he did, they waited with bated breath. He didn’t hiccup. 

They both slumped forwards in relief, sighing. Exhaustion hitting Tony like a wrecking ball.

“Sorry…” Tony whispered and shifted awkwardly, he went to move away from her on the couch, to curl in on himself, but Hope wasn’t having it, she had other ideas. Moving towards him, she pulled him into her arms.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Star. You couldn’t help it, something set you off and you had no control.” Hope comforted Tony who melted against her, his head fell onto her shoulder and he stretched his legs out across the couch. Tony smiled dopily at the childhood nickname.

Hope giggled a bit and lounged back, leaning against Tony, “We weren’t really needed for this mission anyway, Carol said she and the others could handle it and you still needed to rest with that chest of yours. The others can handle whatever it is just fine and you and I get to be lazy and chill for the afternoon.” 

“You haven’t called me Star in a long time.” Tony observed quietly.

“We haven’t really talked in a long time either.” Hope noted softly, "Not that it’s anyone’s fault, we both have very busy lives and we aren’t kids anymore.”

“I’ve missed you Sunny.” Tony confessed, “I pushed you aside, I was more worried about making the Avengers happy and trying to fit into the team after I became Iron Man. I forgot about what truly mattered, I forgot about us. I don’t know how you can forgive me for that...”

“The same way you forgive me for my transgressions in this friendship as well. Because we are bigger than that, we’ve been through so much more than any other relationship or friendship in our lives. We’ve survived our own battles and wars and have come back on top. We’ve been subjected to our fathers war and issues all our lives and no matter what, you’ve always been there for me and me for you.” Hope spoke with such passion. Tony felt tears spike in his eyes, his throat tightening with emotions.

“Damn you Sun, making me all weepy.” Tony quipped with a smirk.

“How are you really doing Star?” Hope inquired softly, her hand pushing his face to look at her properly.

Tony sighed and turned his head to look up at Hope in the eyes “I’m getting better, day by day, but I'm definitely more fucked up here than before.” Tony tapped his temple, “And my stupid brain never shuts up.”

“I have your back Star, never forgot that.” Hope confessed.

Tony smiled, “Ok so, lazy day while everyone else is out working, whatever will we do with ourselves?” 

“Oh! Let’s watch Armageddon!” Hope bounced slightly.

“Wow, I haven’t watched that movie in years. To be honest, I think the last time I watched it was with you.” Tony confessed.

“Actually same!” Hope exclaimed, "Oh that had to have been what, in 2005?”

Tony winced remembering what he was like before becoming Iron Man, but then smiling at the memory of that night with Hope, it had to have been one of the last sleep overs they ever had.

“FRIDAY load up Armageddon please.” Tony instructed.

“On it Boss.” FRIDAY responded.

\----

The movie was almost finished and Hope and Tony sat on the edge of the couch clutching at each other, the box of tissues and the large tub of ice cream they were sharing was between them. Both of them were openly crying as the ones who survived reunited with their loved ones.

“Fucking hell… How do we still get this emotional over the ending?” Tony huffed, not even bothering to swipe away the tears that had started to trail down to his neck, his grip tightening on Hope’s shoulder. She buried her head into his shoulder.

“No idea.” She croaked. “We should probably wrap this up soon though, finish crying, and then clean up before everyo-” 

There was storm of feet clunking against the ground as a portal opened in the room and the both of them paused, caught like a deer in headlights. The view in front of the others was something else, Tony and Hope's eyes and cheeks were still shining with tears and they were still clutching onto one another. Everyone stared at them, perplexed. Tony and Hope look back at the screen, to the wedding scene. The tears started up again, both of them completely ignoring everyone else.

“He-he saved the world. What a good man…” Hope hiccuped. Tony nodded his agreement.

“I’d totally marry him.” Tony cried playfully.

“What...is going on here?” Rhodey ask, Tony and Hope peered back at him, he was standing in the middle of the group. They wiped their eyes vigorously, clearing their throats.

“Armageddon.” They both said.

Realization dawned on Rhodey face. “Seriously?” He asks with eyebrows raised, “You both are ridiculous. And a mess. Just like the old days.” Rhodey shook his head and moved to sit on the couch, beside where Tony was. Everyone else seemed to disperse, Vision and Tasha both left the room as Carol and Stephen moved to a seat in the living room.

The billionaire breathed a sigh of relief as no one brought up his panic attack from before they left.

Tony had noticed Rhodey was limping, or walking a bit different then normal when he had gone to sit. Movie forgotten, Tony focused on his friend.

“You okay Honey Bear?” Tony’s voice was laced with worry.

“Never better! The braces integrated well with the suit and I basically stayed in sentry mode so I wasn’t over exerting myself, I was just back up. But I feel really good.” Rhodey sounded proud of himself, he had a large smile on his face.

“Is something uncomfortable?” Tony prodded further, knowing something was up.

“It's just me getting used to certain aspects, don’t worry so much, I promise I’ll ask for help if I need help adjusting anything. Besides I know you're already working on an update so I’m good Tones, don’t worry.” Rhodey patted his friends leg and sat back to finish watching the movie.

\----

The credits rolled not long after. Tasha and Vision has reappeared and everyone was lounging about. Tired eyes blinked blearily at the duo as Tony and Hope stood and cleaned the slight mess that littered the room.

“I need to go debrief the UN on what happened.” Carol groaned as she stood up, “Tony did you want to come with?”

“Sure.” Tony went and put the ice cream away and followed Carol down the hall to one of the conference rooms.

—-

The remaining Avengers looked to Hope in question. Now with Tony gone they showed concern, and they decided to be nosy.

“What happened after we left?” Rhodey asked.

“Honestly not much, he’s healing and need people around him that he can trust.” Hope looked to Rhodey “Jim what happened that made his trust issues worse than before?”

Rhodey scoffed “The really question is what didn’t happen…”

Hope shook her head, “Well anyways, we got some time to talk and decided to watch our favorite movie, we used to watch this all the time. I think we even went to it like 5 times when it was in theaters. We were always a mess after it.”

Stephen eyebrows raised at that, Rhodey laughed and nodded, remembering when one of the times Tony, Hope, Pepper and himself went to see it as well. 

“I’m going to go order dinner, I think Chinese sounds good for tonight, what do you guys think?” Hope questioned as she clapped her hands and rubbed them together.

Rhodey chuckled “Hey FRI, can you put our normal Chinese order in, add a bit more food for the others too, please.”

Hope flushed, she kept forgetting about the AI.

“Of course Colonel.” FRIDAY chirped.

—-

Tony and Carol had just finished the call with the UN. They stared at each other for a moment before Carol reached out and touched Tony’s hand gently.

“Major Danvers, Boss, dinner is ready and you’re both being summoned.” FRIDAY’s voice rang out softly.

“Shall we?” Carol stood up and looked to Tony.

The billionaire nodded. He really hoped this wouldn’t be as awkward as he feared.

The two of them made there way back to the living quarters area of the compound and into the dining room.

Tony observed the scene in front of him Stephen, Rhodey, and Hope were all dishing up food from Chinese carry out containers making jokes and laughing, Vision and Tasha watched them from their seats, seemingly enjoying just being around the laughter.

The laughter didn’t stop when Tony entered, it actually seemed to increase. It was then he realized that Hope and Rhodey were both telling Stephen some more funny stories of Tony’s past.

Tony remembered with the old team how when he had entered the room that laughter seemed to die and everyone would become serious. So it was refreshing, even if it was a bit embarrassing at his expense.

Tony quickly put his two cents into the conversation which caused an uproar from the few people in the room.

Dinner proceeded without much fanfare and Tony was feeling much more relaxed. He still had the slight worry from earlier especially with Stephen. The fear that they would all eventually abandon him. He knew the other shoe was going to drop, the rug would get pulled from underneath him, but at the present moment everything seemed peaceful, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste.

Carol cleared her throat after she was through eating and looked around. She congratulated everyone on a job well done and let them know that the UN seemed pleased with the results of the last mission. 

It was when her eyes met Tony’s, his breath hitching, that things got a bit more serious. She spoke directly to Tony.

“I know we only just met but I hope you can learn to trust me, to trust us,” Carol stated softly and motioned to the few at the table, "I’m not sure what set you off this morning- and I’m not going to pry,” she said quickly as Tony’s eyes flashed in panic but then relaxed at her words, “But please know that you have a team behind you now, you have a family here, so when you are ready, just know we are here for you and if and when you need to talk with any of us we will be here” Carol had spoken firmly but her eyes twinkled with concern and worry.

Tony didn’t have words, what exactly could he say to that? His throat closed slightly as emotions flooded him. He glanced around and saw everyone give him a slight nod as though agreeing with Carol.

He opened his mouth trying to figure out something to say to such a statement.

“Boss, something large has entered the atmosphere, it appears to be preparing to land in Norway.” FRIDAY interrupted suddenly and sounded almost fearful.

Tony almost groaned aloud at the intrusion.

Now what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyhey hope you liked the chapter! ooo what could be happening in norway? mwhah
> 
> thank you to my beta brickgirl101, she is such a godsend!


	8. Norway

It took a few hours, but thankfully to the newly updated quinjet the team got there faster than anticipated. The UN had been contacted and would remain in the loop as the situation played out. When they unloaded and took in what they saw, they were all baffled.

A massive ship had landed in a large open field in Northern Norway, far away from civilization and hundreds of people were milling around the open expansive area, there were people tending to each other and talking. 

“Oh god. Not again.” Stephen groaned, his head was turned towards a different direction. Everyone turned to see what he was looking at. 

Thor, Loki, someone with seriously greying hair who’s back was to them, and a woman were talking. Loki caught Tony’s gaze and grinned, almost… warmly? Tony tilted his head to the side in silent question. Thor turned around to see what had his brother smiling like that. 

“Man of Iron!” Thor bellowed when seeing Tony.

Tony stepped out of his armor, and stepped away from the group as Thor sauntered over to him and pulled him into a hug. Tony was thankful for his chest protector or Thor would have crushed his fragile chest, it didn’t stop him from grunting in discomfort though.

“Hey there, Point Break.” Tony patted the gods shoulder. After setting Tony down, Thor made his way over to give Tasha a hug too, she actually flinched at the strength he had used. Rhodey was next but he got a simple pat on the back and then Vision. “What exactly is happening here?” Tony inquired.

Thor smiled grimly. “It is a long story, my friend. We should probably discuss it elsewhere.” 

Tony glanced at the rest of the team and they just nodded silently telling him that he had the lead for this.

“Tony!” A familiar voice called out catching Tony’s attention, his head snapped towards the voice in shock, almost giving him whiplash. 

“Bruce!” Tony yelled.

They both smiled widely and grabbed each other into a tight hug. Tony could have cried, he didn’t… but he totally could have.

They pulled away and Tony glanced over Bruce, and taking in his clothes. Well...more like Tony’s.

“Wait...why are you wearing my clothes?” Tony asked confusion lacing his voice.

“It’s part of the long story.” Bruce supply’s with a shrug and a nervous neck rub.

“I searched for you, and you weren’t even on the planet were you?” Tony asked, obviously shocked.

Bruce glanced at Tasha, who grimaced but gave him a small smile “I’m sorry about that Tony, I just needed space.” Bruce’s lips twitched as Tony smirked.

“I guess you can’t get anymore space then actually going to space.” Tony smiled and playfully pushed Bruce.

Bruce and Thor both looked for the rest of the team, their eyes resting on the new team. 

Bruce was the first to ask, “So where are the others?” 

Tony’s whole demeanor changed, and several faces hardened, Tasha looked murderous.

“It’s one of those long stories that we should talk about in private.” Tony choked out.

“Well then let us convene in the Statesman, there are large enough common rooms for us to sit down and catch up.” Thor said a serious look on his face “Heimdall,” he called over to a dark skinned man, “Keep an eye on things please while we talk.” 

Moments late they piled into a large common room, and everyone found a comfortable spot.

“Well I would like to start by asking why he is back here after our last get together.” Stephen sneered slightly at Loki, who simply looked at Stephen annoyed, but slightly apprehensive causing Stephen to then smirk.

“Doctor Wizard please let us tell you our tale and then you can place judgment, but I assure you that Loki is here on good terms.”

Tony had his arms crossed defensively over his chest and was leaning up against the wall, seemingly nonchalant but anyone who knew him knew he was currently in defensive mode.

“Okay Point Break, do your thing.” Tony motioned.

So Thor told his story. How he had been searching for the stones, then his nightmares of Ragnarok, finding Loki on Odin's throne, meeting Strange, finding their father, Hela’s return, Mjinior shattering, landing in Sakaar, meeting Brunnhilde, finding Hulk, escaping Sakaar, fighting Hela, losing his eye, bringing on Ragnarok, and finally, coming to earth to seek refuge.

Tony whistled “Woah… so Bruce how did you end up on...what was it?”

“Sakaar… and the best I can figure is that I hit a wormhole somewhere while flying over the ocean. I was the Hulk for about two years.” Bruce explained, “So I don’t remember any of it but the readouts on the quinjet seemed to point to the same conclusion.”

“Well we will need to contact the UN and Norway officials but I think you and your people will be safe here.” Tony said looking to Thor.

“Aye, thank you Friend Stark.” Thor’s voice boomed in excitement.

“Great.” Stephen muttered, clearly annoyed.

“Brother you have forgotten to tell them the biggest news…” Loki said quietly, almost in a whisper of fear.

“I have, but before I say anymore I’m hoping to know where the rest of the Avengers are, Captain Rogers should be here to know of such news.” Thor explained and missed Tony’s flinch at Rogers name.

“I keep forgetting you both are out of the loop.” Tony muttered while tightening his arms over his chest.

“Rogers and I fell out, hard. We’re not on speaking terms.” Tony felt his chest tighten.

“I see, maybe you should tell us what occurred and we can go from there...” Thor seemed disappointed Bruce was watching as Tony subconsciously rubbed his chest. Hope stepped over to stand beside him, her side pushed against his in comfort.

Tony closed his eyes and banged his head against the wall, the thud was clearly heard throughout the room. “Goddamn medication, can’t have a goddamn drink...” Tony muttered quietly to himself but everyone in the room heard. 

“Medication? Tony what’s going on?” Bruce was genuinely concerned. Hell even Loki looked concerned for Tony.

A sharp laugh broke out of Tony’s chest. A month ago he probably wouldn’t have said anything, but since therapy he figured if he told one person what’s the difference of telling several others. 

Keeping his eyes closed, head against the wall, and breathing steady as possible, he began.

He told them about how after Ultron how he had been blamed and pushed away, so he left and let the team do their thing while he still housed them and supported them, he spoke briefly of the teams accident in Lagos, and then how Ross cornered him with the Accords, Tony being a smart businessman he was had sided with the UN and Accords especially since he could definitely help them do some good if they were revised properly, but not everyone saw it that way. 

At the mention of Ross, Bruce tinged a bit green. Tony continued on reiterating as much as he could when he go to retelling about the fight at the Leipzig Airport, he froze. Looking to Vision, Tasha, and Rhodey, lingering on Rhodey

“It was bad, we were holding back while they weren’t”. Tony’s voice full of guilt he shook his head, “Regardless they got away. Not too long after Ross imprisoned the remaining Rouges I found out that he put them somewhere they didn’t belong.”

Tony went on to explain how he found out about Zemo and had gone to Siberia after Sam had told him.

Tony froze. Trying to find the words. “Zemo wasn’t after the Winter Soldiers like Rogers thought, his goal was to crush the Avengers from the inside, out.”

“How?” Bruce was still looking green, increasingly so.

"An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumbles from within? That's dead...forever.” Tony’s voice was dead, he slid down the wall, curling his knees to his chest and hugging them. His breathing started to speed up.  
Hope followed him to the ground aiming herself in front of him, she grabbed his face.

“Star, look at me. I am here. Stay with me. You are not in Siberia.” Hope started to speak quietly and softyl.

The New Avengers looked away to attempt to give Tony some privacy but Thor and Bruce watched on horrified. 

Loki was watching but his emotions were unreadable to others, but on the inside he raged, Tony had been the only one to show him any sort of kindness, even in the face of an alien attack.  
Brunnhilde just looked on thoughtfully, and staying quiet.

Tony came back to and continued the story.

“Barnes killed my parents- The Winter Soldier, Barnes. Killed my mom. For years I blamed my father. Rogers knew. For over two years he knew.” Tony was choking on his words. Tony pushed a hand against his mouth and breathed.

A flash of guilt flitted across Tasha’s face.

“I was mad. I had just seen my mother killed by the man standing five feet away from me, Rogers stopped me, and I asked him if he knew. He tried to lie to me. All I saw was red. But I never tried to kill them. But in the end I was the one left for dead, after he bashed his shield- the shield my father made into my Arc Reactor, straight into my chest.” Tony’s breathing was just as ragged, he looked up and stared at Thor, tears brimming his eyes, “So I hope you can see why we aren’t really on speaking terms and I honestly don’t plan on changing that anytime soon.” 

“I see.” Thor said simply but thunder could be heard outside and lightning crackled off his fingers.

Bruce was tinged green and shaking.

“So anyways,” Tony said suddenly and stood up his emotions giving everyone whiplash. “That’s why I have these guys,” he motioned to Hope who was standing back up, Stephen, and Carol. “The idea of the Avengers still need to be a thing, but it needs to be accountable, it needs to work with the Government.”

“Ross?” Bruce asked the simple question.

“Out of the picture. At least until he crawls out of whatever hidey hole he crawled into. Somehow many of his misdeeds were released to the public and he’s currently hiding for the government.” Tony explained.

Bruce sobered up a bit at Tony’s word. He strode over to the billionaire and collected him into a hug.

“Thank you.” Bruce whispered. “And I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”

Tony tried to smile, and patted Bruce’s back. 

“So what’s this about important news?” Tony actually turned to Loki with the question. 

“I have a confession of sorts, my actions were not completely my own in New York. And the person who is responsible well he is currently collecting Infinity stones and plans to wipe out half of the universe in some sort of mercy genocide.” Loki confessed.

“So this is it? This is what I’ve been fearing since Maximoff gave me that vision.” Tony muttered. Both Stephen and Loki’s eyes snapped to Tony at his statement. “How long do we have?”

“We have awhile I believe, we had help escaping him on our way here, so there are allies out there that will come let us know if anything changes. In the meantime, Thor and I were hoping to speak to any officials that we need to, to discuss our stay on Midgard.” Loki spoke with such certainty.

“Do you think that’s wise?” Tony asked, “To let people know of your stay?”

“It’s what must be done to ensure everyone to be comfortable, so I do believe it is wise.” Loki explained.

“You know I still owe you that drink, maybe if we get this all figured out I can assist you with that, I’m almost done with this stupid medication regimen and we can have a little fun.” Tony smirked and Loki playfully.

The gods eyes widened ever so slightly in shock but his own smirk was placed on his lips. “We shall see.”

Tony clapped his hands together, “Okay so let’s get this show on the road.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for the late update. life is a mean thing. anyways, i hope you enjoy it!
> 
> give loads of love to my beta, she really really helps me with getting chapters out! - brickgirl101


	9. Bruce

“Are you sure?” Rhodey asked with a worried look on his face.

“You worry too much Honey Bear.” Tony said softly, clasping a hand on to his best friends shoulder. 

His hand was met with cool metal of the War Machine Armor causing a pang of sadness with reminder that Rhodey needed to wear the armor because of issues with getting used to the braces.

“Hope, Natasha and Stephen will be enough while we are here and you have to get back to the States. Keep and eye on Vision and the kid for me, Happy does his best with Pete, but it doesn’t hurt to have more than one set of eyes on him.” Tony instructed, “He’s been getting restless lately, too and I’m worried he’s going to get into trouble.”

“Tony I can stay and help deal with the delegates.” Carol offered, coming up beside the two men.

“It’s fine I have history with these guys,” He gestured to Thor and Loki, “And it's best if I stay the one to represent them, you just go hold the fort down.” Tony explained.

Vision, Rhodey and Carol loaded into the quinjet after some brief goodbyes.

Tasha came up beside Tony as he watched the quinjet leave, he sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face.

She placed a hand on his shoulder. “Я с тобой.” (I’m with you)

His lips twitched. “Lo so grazie.” (I know, thanks)

They switched dialects between the two of them, given that he knew a plethora of languages, especially after his time in Afghanistan, but he was more comfortable speaking Italian, as she was more comfortable speaking Russian. This was how he and Natasha would communicate, and it confused a great many of people. 

Tony turned and watched briefly as Stephen was walking through the people lounging around checking injuries and such. Hope was greeting Norwegian Delegates and UN Council members who had just landed in a large helicopter. His shoulders tensing, could he really do all of this?

“Вы можете сделать это Tonio.” Natasha said as if reading his mind, and squeezing his shoulder. (You can do this Tonio)

“Grazie per essere qui con me.” Tony whispered, resting a hand over hers. (Thanks for being here with me)

She smiled at him gently and moved to wrap a arm around his shoulder, gently pulling him forward towards Hope and the Norwegian officials. “Всегда.” (Always)

******

Tony once again found himself leaning against the wall of the large common area they had been in earlier, observing the scene in front of him. 

Hope, Tasha and Stephen were sitting on chairs on the outskirts of the room staying silent but in the background as needed. Bruce and Brunnhilde were sitting a bit closer the where Thor and Loki both sat, in front of several different government officials, both Norwegian and UN. The group, apparently labeling themselves as The Revengers, by Thor, was explaining a shortened story of what had happened that led the Asgardians there and briefly touched on the fact that there was a massive threat heading Earth's way, and Thor in turn guaranteeing Asgard’s help in the coming battle.

The delegates were showing obvious discomfort and nervousness about having Loki there and that’s currently where they stood in the conversation.

“We understand your plight and Norway would be happy to be home for you and you people Thor.” The Prime minister said sounding nervous, “We will need to discuss some details, but we are truly honored that you have come to us to ask for help.” The nervous tone getting thicker as the man saw the grin of satisfaction on Thor’s face. “But I’m not entirely sure that we feel it wise to keep Loki around, due to the nature of the oncoming threat and his history with this Mad Titan.” Thor’s smile dropped, he looked ready to get up and fight with him causing fear to twinge through the man’s eyes.

Tony cleared his throat and kicked himself away from the wall, before Thor could start though. “Would it help if I vouched for Loki? The Avengers have means to restrain Loki if necessary, but I do believe that we are all after the same thing here though, and that is to survive.” Tony sighed and continued forward, hands tucked in his pockets, holding himself as strongly as he could and continued, “I can understand if the UN and US government wants to put Loki on trial for his misdeeds against Earth but I have it under good authority that Thanos was coercing Loki, like Loki had with Agent Barton. With the new information I have I can compile evidence as well, that Loki was not in the same mindset that he is in now.” Tony eyes swept over the trickster god knowing that admitting such was embarrassing but knew that this was the only way to keep Loki from being locked in a cell and having the key thrown away. Loki’s eyes met Tony’s guilt filled one’s, a small nod in understanding was sent his way.

“Mr Stark, he threw you out a window and attacked your home regardless of mindset he is a danger to us.” A council member argued, Tony wanted to rub his temples at the growing headaches, so this is how this would go. He was going to have to repeat himself several time before he was listened to.

“And yet here I am defending him, you know why? Because there is something bigger coming. Something worse, something even Loki fears. As I said in the beginning The Avengers do currently have a way to ensure that Loki is under control if needed. We currently hold a contract with the Sorcerer Supreme of the Mystic Arts, who has already had a run in with the said God of Mischief and has already bested him once.” Stephen smirked from the corner as Loki sneered.

“Mr Stark I do believe to avoid riots and such we should bring Loki to trial though.” A different UN Council member spoke up, he never tried to remember who anyone was thought that was too much work.

Tony very verbally sighed, it was nearly a groan, and he actually pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “What part of another alien invasion don’t you understand councilmember? Because the way I’m seeing it is we have an offer in getting help on defeating an oncoming threat and you want to try, what? Alienate us further by putting a man on trial. Who, yes, made a mistake, but you really want to blow this up into a long trial with news and tons of others opinions and people just to what? Get justice? We have other things to worry about and prepare for.” 

“I see your point Mr Stark, it would cost a lot of time and resources.” The previous man tried to soothe the billionaire, “but then how do we explain Loki’s presence?”

Tony laughed, a full belly laugh, “Councilmember,” he broke out of his laughter a genuine signature smirk on his face, “You’ve met me right? Hell before the civil war I was able to convince everyone that having the Hydra witch on the team was a smart move, and she was literally out for my blood! I think I can get the public to side with me on keeping Loki around. I even have plans to humanize him a bit more in public so don’t worry, I got this.”

“That’s what scares us though.” A Norwegian delegate spoke up, “You vouched for the witch-“

“Nuh uh.” Tony cut the man off anger flashing on his face, “When did I ever vouch for her? Never, I can pull up video proof too if you are so inclined not to believe me. I only ever said how Captain America vouched for Maximoff and the team was standing by him. I, for one, was never part of that team, regardless of public image, I was only ever a consultant and benefactor for them. A sugar daddy for them if you will. So no I never vouched for her.” Tony’s eyes were hard and cold as he stared at the government officials who shrank back at Tony’s harsh gaze.

Tasha shifted in her chair a guilty look on her face, very uncharacteristic of her but it was there. Stephen and Hope both looked sympathetically towards the billionaire. Though Stephens hands were clenched and shaking more than normal, so it was easy to tell that his anger and frustration was right up there with Tony’s.

“I still don’t understand,” One of the UN members that had been the quietest spoke up. “How you would want someone who physically assaulted you around.” She spoke softly. 

Tony huffed a slight laugh, “Honestly if you are talking about Loki grabbing me by my throat, which he actually grabbed me more by my jaw if we are being precise, I legitimately think that’s an Asgardian thing since Thor grabbed and full blown was choking me, in front of the entire team mind you, and no one was appt to stop him because Ultron was very clearly all my fault.” Tony spat bitterly, glaring a bit at Thor and shot a look to Bruce and Tasha. He stopped and shook his head attempting to push the images back. Loki was staring dumbstruck and glanced over to Thor who at least had the decency to looked ashamed. “Point I’m trying to make is if I keep anyone who has ever hurt me away, friends or not I definitely wouldn’t have anyone around, and you know with my ego and all I kinda rely on having others around.” Tony tried to lighten the mood after his small emotional breakdown. 

Tony’s teeth were grinding together as he backed away back to the wall setting his back against the cool metal trying to ground himself as images started flashing in his mind, of times and event that he didn’t want to think of at the moment but not being given a chance to stop it.

Hope stood and walked in front of Tony blocking him from the rest of the room. Tasha shadowing her but staying back with sad eyes.

“I think we are through here.” Stephen stood up and interjected before much more was said. 

The government officials in the room all seemed grateful for Stephen’s dismissal.

The Norwegian prime minister looking towards Thor. “We shall let you settle a bit and then we can discuss more details in the coming days.” He pauses and looked to Loki, “We will leave you in the hands of the Avengers but one slip up and there will be problems.” The Trickster God nodded silently and continued to watching Hopes back, trying to get a grasp of all that he had just hear. 

Thor cleared his throat, “Thank you.” He shook hands as the Delegates departed following Brunnhilde who was showing them the way out.

A quiet conversation was being had in Italian as Hope and Tony were discussing something in quiet hushed voices. Tony’s forehead was resting on hers his hand resting on her chest as they breathed together. Tony working on fighting the panic attack away that was trying to work its way through him.

Bruce was shocked as he watched what had been unfolding around him. Guilt rocketing through him as he remembered the time Tony had tried to lean on him for support and how the doctor had ended up falling asleep. Watching the broken man in front of him shook him deep. Given he hadn’t had control of Hulk taking the plane and then ending up on a different planet entirely, definitely threw a wrench into everything. He had still left behind a broken man, someone who had been burdened to take the blame for mistakes that weren’t just his own. Ultron being the biggest one in the doctors head currently.

Stephen stepped in front of Hope blocking her and Tony from view, the Cloak he wore spread out a bit making more of a barrier. 

“How about we head out and I can summon some living structures for your people, we can reconvene in a few hours.” Stephen suggested but not really leave room for any argument. 

“Yeah you and Tash go with Thor, Loki and Bruce. Tony and I will join you in a few minutes.” Hope said from behind Stephen and then continued to mutter in Italian to Tony.

********

The following hours found the small group setting up living areas around the expansive clearing. Tony and Hope and had join shortly after the others had started separating Asgardians by families and what not. 

Stephen’s magic had come in handy in getting everything set up which caused Loki to glare at the sorcerer in disdain. Stephen’s smirk only making the god more frustrated, especially when he would get caught glaring and the sorcerer smirk would widened.

Tony had the Iron Legion deliver supplies and materials needed. He had been busy on the phone when dinner had been brought by them as well. Natasha had snatched his phone and tucked it away. Her and Hope guided him to where the others were. Blankets were laid out and food spread across them. 

Tony sat beside Stephen and Hope plopped down beside him, Tasha following by sitting next to Hope. Tony jumped slightly when when something brushed up behind him, but when the presence stayed firmly against his tailbone he realized the the Cloak of Levitation was making itself known to him. A small smile graced his lips as he then bumped Stephen’s shoulder, or in this case his arm, with his shoulder, because you Tony was shorter. “Levi is feeling me up again.” Tony spoke lightly looking at Stephen with eyes twinkling a bit.

“He does have good taste.” Stephen said back, biting his lip after realizing exactly what he said. 

“I am pretty irresistible aren’t I?” Tony flirted back without concern. Stephen rolled his eyes in response.

The sorcerer reached back for his satchel, retrieving Tony’s medications and stealthily handed them off to the billionaire. If anyone noticed, nobody said anything. Tony sighed and took the medication, taking a swig from his water bottle.

Dinner continued without much fanfare. Bruce watched Tony as Hope, Stephen and Natasha all pushed small bits of food onto his plate, the billionaire simply smiled and ate quietly.

The sun had started setting and people had begun turning in. Thor, Loki, Brunnhilde, Bruce, Tony, Stephen, Hope, and Natasha all filed back into the common room for the third time of the day. The group of them all conversing lightly about random stuff. Brunnhilde made her way to the bar area of the room and shuffled around bottles. Tony watched on jealous, he turn away and plopped down on a couch groaning a bit and rubbed his chest, the protector on it did its job but Tony had over exerted himself during the day and was now feeling it.

He pulled his phone out and started a text based conversation with FRIDAY about some adjustments he would need to make along with a few notes that he had thought up of the fix he was working on for his chest. 

He didn’t notice the fact that he was subconsciously rubbing his chest, or the fact that Bruce sat beside him. That was until a hand on the shoulder brought him out of wherever he was in his brain, he jolted in surprise his eyes widened in fear for a moment before he calmed himself a second later.

“Brucie Bear! What’s up? Sorry, I got distracted. Did you need something?” Tony’s mask slipped on and a gentle but genuine smile was on his face.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry… for everything.” Bruce whispered, the others in the room appeared to try to make themselves sparse. “I don’t know where to start even-“ Tony attempted to cut Bruce off but was quickly silenced, “Two things specifically I know I need to apologize about is Ultron and the whole incident when you tried to talk to me and I told you I wasn’t that kind of doctor. Because in all honesty it has nothing to do with being a doctor I should have listened to you as a friend and I’m sorry about that. And I was part of the Ultron fiasco and I let you burden all the blame. I’m so sorry Tony.” Bruce’s voice broke.

A hand clasped at the doctors shoulders. “You know I would have normally said it’s fine. But I have been told I can’t use that phase anymore.” Tony said in obvious frustration, “Stupid evil therapist.” He muttered but his lips twitched, “I’m moving on though, I honestly have too much to be angry about, but I can’t dwell on it because now I know what I’ve been fearing. Since 2012 I’ve been preparing for the inevitable and no one believed me, but I did it anyway. Ultron was supposed to help but the AI I was hoping to nurture and grow like I have with JARVIS, and now FRIDAY, oh and the Bots, well it turned into a murder bot because the witch played me, and the scepter took advantage and stole what was supposed to be a peacekeeping program.” Tony cut off his rambling, “I’m going of topic here,” Tony groaned and rubbed his temples trying to physically wipe away the haze in his brain that the medication was giving him at the moment. “Bruce I never held what you did against you because at the end of the day you were there, regardless of falling asleep while I spilt my guts to you, or was taking on blame for a mistake in the lab, I never held it against you.”

“You should though.” Bruce muttered. 

“And what exactly would that accomplish? I need to let some of the anger and frustration go or the panic attacks will just keep coming. This has been an ongoing thing for over four years, and I’m over it. I want to get better and move on. Hell Bruce I’m taking fucking medication to combat my anxiety and PTSD, I’m seeing a therapist, I’m trying to surround myself in support so that way I can move on. So don’t apologize because I already forgave you. Just help me move forward. And help me defend earth because that all I’ve ever been trying to do regardless of what others think.” Tony spoke in a firm voice but as he stared at Bruce the doctor could see the pain and hurt swim in his eyes but the determination was there too.

“Of course Tony.” Bruce agreed and went to wrap his arms around the fellow genius. Tony stiffened slightly and then relaxed. Patting Bruce’s back and melting into the embrace. Before pulling back and clearing his throat, pushing emotions away.

“So we got any games to play or something?” Tony asked upbeat, his voice clear of the emotions that lingered.

Things would be okay. They had to be, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhh im so sorry i havent updated in ages, like,,,,,super duper sorry. im terrible aaaaaa. anyways, i hope ypu enjoyed the chapter byeee <3
> 
> hELLA GIVE MY BETA ALL THE LOVE GUYS <3333


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